I have fallen back into my same routine. I say this with regret and optomism at the same time. I have not had a serious girlfriend in over 4 years, and that in itself is not that bad perspectively. I have many friends who have never had a serious girlfriend or a wife, I have had both. I don’t mean to sound arrogant at all. I have been blessed with finding girlfriends quite easily. However it is both a blessing and a curse.
The other day I was on a social media site, Twitter I think, and one of my friends had posted how much she loved coffee. I agreed with her that I love coffee as well. Then it occured to me, I love the Braves as much as she loves coffee. I even wrote a sarcastic statement that I love baseball as much as she loved coffee. It is easier to love things that don’t have a persona or a physical presence. Coffee never broke her heart or mine. The Braves did not win the World Series every season and yes that makes me sort of sad, but it doesn’t break me heart the way a break up with a girlfriend or worse a wife. I tend to throw myself into baseball and the Braves because it takes my mind off of other things I do not want to think about, like being in my mid forties and single. There are other contributing factors such as my disability and how long it is taking to get my benefits. I originally applied for them when I was 31 and here I am 13 years later and nothing. My multiple sclerosis has taken away my ability to walk without a walker and it affects my mood swings, or should I say the different medications I take for it affect my mood swings.
I am not looking for sympathy. I am explaining how and why I go from extremely hyper to very sad phases where I do not want anyone to talk to me or even check on me. The one thing that always excites me is baseball. Atlanta Braves baseball to be exact. I have been keeping tract of how much time I spend on reading and researching the Braves. It is over 6 hours a day. Since it is only the offseason, that time will for sure increase in March when the preseason starts. If I spent even half the time I spend on baseball as finding a girlfriend who might one day turn into a wife, then my time will be well spent. My divorce was final in 2004. Over ten years ago. There have been girlfriends since, but nothing serious. I do not call relationships lasting under 6 months serious. A regular season of baseball is 7 months, possibly 8 months chasing a World Series. The Braves won’t break up with me or get upset and paranoid if I do not text or call back right away. The Braves may not love me back, but I do not expect them to. I just want a girlfriend who loves baseball as much as I do. The Atlanta Braves have a 1 in 32 chance of winning the World Series, despite what the Las Vegas odds say. My odds for finding a potential wife who loves baseball or the Braves are better. They are 50/50. Either I will or I won’t. GO BRAVES!!!!!