Today is the day I’ve been waiting for. Day one of the March Madness tournament. Honestly I am not even a huge basketball fan. I watch enough to sound smart when talking with friends, but I can not tell you the different positions on the team and the different roles they play. Yes I could learn them quite easily but I am not that curious. I can’t tell you which position Michael Jordan played or LeBron James. Basketball is not my thing, now I’ll tell you everything you want to know about baseball and what a suicide squeeze is. I’m a baseball guy as you should all be aware of.
It’s now less than an hour until the tournament begins. I guess I could try to hype myself up by listening to Disturbed or Eminem. Those drums and loud instruments are designed to make guys feel like men. I claim to be a dope rapper because I can rhyme a few words quickly. I give all the credit to Dr. Seuss and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I found out over the years that listening to Eminem exclusively and watching reality TV like Jerry Spinger where at anytime a fight or heated argument could break out was actually killing my joy for life. I just automatically assumed all girls were cheaters and the only to prove you were a man was to hit someone harder than they hit you. That’s rubbish and it took me longer than most to finally learn this.
When the Madness begins at noon, I’m ready to enjoy 3 weeks of competitive basketball where both teams will play hard. I don’t really care who wins but I do have a bracket made. I’d better prepare myself for beer ads galore and chicken wings. I guess pizza ads will be thrown in for a “healthy” diet. Plus like most advertisers, the commercials will have plenty of people watching TV. 44 year old men watching the games alone in his room is NOT what people want to see. Most men act better in groups so they can show other men how tough they are. Watching others play sports on TV give men the right to yell at bad or missed calls. I guess the thinking is being fueled with enough alcohol and beer it is better to get angry at an inanimate object than people. Throwing things at the TV seems appropriate. But might I suggest socks instead of beer bottles. Men love competition. I do. I want to prove how much more knowledgeable I am about sports than you. That’s what makes men, men. I can beat you up or my picks are better than yours. I’m better at being a man more than you, allow me to pound my chest and scream. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the movie Kong opened last week right before the tournament starts. Calm down guys, it’s only a game. Instead of letting sports and music control your life and define who you are, just calm down. Enjoy the games but don’t let games control you.